Saturday, August 8, 2009

Temporarily the Opposite Sex

Red high-heeled shoe.Image via Wikipedia

"If you could become the opposite sex
for six weeks how do you think you
would feel and what would you do?"
(contest entry)

If I could become the opposite sex for six weeks I would undoubtedly have to experience a menstrual period. Too bad.

I would experience the menstrual period and I'm sure bitch more than any man in history. It might last longer than normal because I wouldn't be able to shake it off like a woman can. Speaking of shaking it off, after you're finished going you-know-what, what do you do? Dab, I guess.

(I guess I will find out.)

I would try flirting even though I'm not attracted to men. I'd learn the ropes, so to speak, from a different angle. Bottom line: I'd be able to seduce women better.

I'm afraid I would stare at myself in the mirror too long if I were a female, especially if I were naked, so I'd have to shower with clothes on as not to distract myself.

I would take advantage of my new "female-ness" and clean my apartment from top to bottom. Then, reverting back later, I would be so proud of myself.

I would save money by finding dates who paid for dinner and didn't expect anything in return. Should someone try to take advantage of me, I would casually fart, which is part of my makeup. Then I'd be on my merry way.

I would seek out a cat in order to see what the attraction is.

I would visit a garage to see how I'd get ripped off.

I would drink a beer, then wash the glass.

I would spend $30 more on a haircut than I usually do in twice the amount of time.

The TV's remote battery would last longer.

I would try walking in high heels then put my male skills to use and saw them off.

I want to be the world's first Chauvinist Bitch.
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