Thursday, July 9, 2009

Telemarketing hangup

Basic creditcard / debitcard / smartcard graph...Image via Wikipedia

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"You called me."

"Sorry," said the lady on the telephone. "It's my first day as a telemarketer and I keep messing up."

"Don't be sorry," I said. "I'm the one who answered the phone."

"Can I please get your Visa card number?"

"Way too early for that."

"What about your Mastercard?"

"Later in the script."

"Shit, I'm already on page 2."

"I used to be a telemarketer, and I can predict you will be hearing from Quality Assurance now."


"Find page 1 and start from scratch."

"Hello, may I speak to the owner of the house?"

"This is the lessee of the apartment speaking."

"My name is _____ ______ and I work for blah blah blah."


"Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah. Blah?"

"Yes, I'll take one."

"Really? I mean blah blah blah."


"(giggles) Blah blah blah Will you be putting this on a Visa, Mastercard, or American Express?

"On all three."

"Can you give me that credit card number, please?"

"Sure, it's 4235233423430022546232907230024373239090323089."

"Thank you."

After I hung up, I placed the phone in the refrigerator. If it happened to ring in the future, so be it, I would hear it only if I was already up.
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