Rules of the House

Image by Nemo's great uncle via Flickr

I don't mind you coming over, but I resent you putting your ass on my stuff. Don't use my bathroom, because you'll likely be in there with your ass hanging out. Can I come to your house and put my ass on your furniture? I don't think so. What makes you think you can do it to me? A toilet is considered "furniture" by Wikipedia, by the way. No disrespecting my furniture with your habits.

As a guest, you must learn to make me, the host, coffee. Familiarize yourself with my coffee maker and I prefer it on the strong side, no sugar just cream. The guest always makes the best coffee, studies have shown.

You must not discriminate against me based on what you might find browsing my DVDs (by my computer).

You have the right to pet my dog at any time and also take her for a walk.

Any pot you find belongs to the owner.