Image via WikipediaEspecially if You're in a Different Religion
If I were God I would have a Commandment that says you can make fun of me three times a year. Do it four times, though, and you're going to hell. Two times is considered pushing it. Once is best.
I don't believe in God, but that doesn't make me a heretic. It makes me an non-believer. If you believe I'm a heretic, you probably believe in an anthropomorphic kind of God, one that avenges this type of behavior. I also think God would have more than two nostrils, given the choice, and He wouldn't need toes, which are there to keep balance. Also, God would not have ugly ears. He would have beautiful ears. Have you ever noticed our ears? The ugliest things on the planet.
I believe God would have a middle name, too. Make that three middle names. Or eighty middle names. He would have the longest name in history. If you said it out loud, you would be required to put a "Sir" in front of it. Or "Lord." Or the "The Lord."
I don't believe God would allow a snarky thing called science to disprove him. He would abolish science, or have his true believers try to abolish it. Wait ... maybe there is a God.
I believe consciousness permeates the universe, that God is everywhere, and everything, not just an entity who resides in a special place called Heaven. I don't believe in an anthropomorphic God, one with human characteristics, like anger, jealously and vengeance.
I've run out of time... I wasn't allowed to mock "God" more than a couple of times, and here I am overstaying my welcome. I believe I'm wanted in hell now?