Thursday, July 2, 2009

Pixel Envy

Barbra StreisandBarbra Streisand via

I started with 15 inches, and that wasn't enough, so I worked my way up to 19. Soon, I had 22 inches, then 25. Now I'm at a whopping 40 inches.

Breasts on YouPorn are becoming lifesize.

My eyes feel twice as big.

I will be able to see up your nostrils one day (technology is getting that good!).

Imagine being able to look up certain celebrities' nostrils. Nostrils I want to look up right away: Barbara Streisand's, then Owen Wilson's.

I want a wall-sized screen in my house. In fact, all my walls should be screens. What do walls do now besides hold paint, and maybe a few pictures? Put them to use, I say!

The screen in Times Square, the one the size of a house? I want my screen to be that big. I want to project a liveshot of the sun as a webcam image, with pixels so good that people can go blind looking at it.
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