Exercise

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I usually have a great time on pot, but this time I wanted a "bad trip" -- if that's possible.

Why? I needed the rapid heartbeat. Why's that? A doctor I'm following on Twitter recommends daily exercise and says that merely walking around is not good enough; your heart needs to move fast on a daily basis to stimulate the rest of your organs.

I took his advice "to heart," but without the exercise. I donned a pair of headphones and began listening to some scary music, hoping for a splash of paranoia, or even a dash of anxiety, which always gets my heart to race. I started with "A Night on Bald Mountain," a scary song in its own right, and since I'm losing my hair, even scarier. It started the process.

Then I moved on to Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and their terror-filled gloomings about the world. It was really moving after that.

Then I back-masked some country music. My heart was really kicking.

Lastly, I took off the headphones and played some Russian Roulette on my computer with a program called "Beyond Repair" -- designed to crash (randomly) your computer--sometimes for good--after you pull a trigger on the program. My first pull caused the screen to go black and the red CPU light to go on (and on). I thought, "Shit, all my emails, and porn -- gone forever!" I broke out in a cold sweat.

Then, miraculously, the computer recovered. I read the program's EULA and it said it may, on occasion, cause a "near miss."

Tomorrow I'm going to smoke a fat bowl and watch a 9/11 conspiracy video and then spend hours typing something heartfelt on a forum and then close my eyes and either hit the "Submit" or "Cancel" button, depending on where my mouse randomly lands. That should make for some good heart spikes.