Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Exercise

Smith & Wesson 629 from the personal armory of...Image via Wikipedia

I usually have a great time on pot, but this time I wanted a "bad trip" -- if that's possible.

Why? I needed the rapid heartbeat. Why's that? A doctor I'm following on Twitter recommends daily exercise and says that merely walking around is not good enough; your heart needs to move fast on a daily basis to stimulate the rest of your organs.

I took his advice "to heart," but without the exercise. I donned a pair of headphones and began listening to some scary music, hoping for a splash of paranoia, or even a dash of anxiety, which always gets my heart to race. I started with "A Night on Bald Mountain," a scary song in its own right, and since I'm losing my hair, even scarier. It started the process.

Then I moved on to Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and their terror-filled gloomings about the world. It was really moving after that.

Then I back-masked some country music. My heart was really kicking.

Lastly, I took off the headphones and played some Russian Roulette on my computer with a program called "Beyond Repair" -- designed to crash (randomly) your computer--sometimes for good--after you pull a trigger on the program. My first pull caused the screen to go black and the red CPU light to go on (and on). I thought, "Shit, all my emails, and porn -- gone forever!" I broke out in a cold sweat.

Then, miraculously, the computer recovered. I read the program's EULA and it said it may, on occasion, cause a "near miss."

Tomorrow I'm going to smoke a fat bowl and watch a 9/11 conspiracy video and then spend hours typing something heartfelt on a forum and then close my eyes and either hit the "Submit" or "Cancel" button, depending on where my mouse randomly lands. That should make for some good heart spikes.
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

No comments:

Post a Comment