Thursday, September 3, 2009

My Secret

My secret is that my dog saw me naked. It was an accident. I was coming out of the shower and heard a noise. I looked over and there he was. He may or may not have been panting. That is a secret I will carry to my grave.

Naturally, I was devastated, and afterward when we went on walks, I made him stay an extra yard ahead. I wouldn't look him in the eye when I pet him, either, which may have hurt his feelings. I only knew that every time he saw me his tail would start wagging and that made me sick. I locked my door when taking a shower from then on and put extra tags on his collar so that he would jangle when he was nearby.

I began calling him "Fifi" to see how he would react; he didn't. I took him to the groomer and had his hair shaved off so I could say I saw him naked, too, but there were no long-term effects.

Finally, I just accepted that he saw me naked. He was my best friend, after all; what did it matter? Soon, I began walking around nude in front of him, then I began parading around. I was finally free of the closet-like confines of the bathroom. Next week is the Big Test when Samantha spends the night and we have sex and we might even get to see glowing eyes.

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