Sunday, September 6, 2009


WASHINGTON - APRIL 14:  U.S. President Barack ...Image by Getty Images via Daylife

I'm a dog in so many ways -- like eating really fast, and hating to shave. Also, I have sex on the brain constantly. I shed too if you look at my shower drain, and my eyes are always red in photographs.

I wouldn't mind eating canned dog food if there is no horse meat in it, because it seems so unbelievably delicious when my dog chows it down. My penis is bigger than my dog's, so I wouldn't trade that. But his hearing ability I wouldn't mind having. I would like to hear what he hears, especially when I have headphones on. I bet music would sound great. Dogs can only see in black and white. Does that mean they can only hear in mono? That would suck. My poor doggie, I want to hug him for not having stereo.

He started out with brown hair, and gradually took on gray hair, so we share that in common. I've used "Just For Men" hair dye on myself and I have also used it on him, and I can testify that he looks years younger. He has most of his hair, too, so he gets more compliments.

He doesn't know algebra and neither do I. I don't kick when a certain area is scratched, I punch. I have responded to a whistle before, so that makes me "obedient." I tend to shake hands whenever someone hands me a paw. I can stand on two legs for hours on end and he can't, but I think he is better balanced.

I am like him, and unlike him, in so many ways, but he has a better singing voice.
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